Ask Bob

BOB.

Why does the sun lighten our hair but darken our skin?

Well, it's very simple. Hair tends to be optimistic, so when it's touched by something as light and awesome as the sun, it gets happy and turns all bright and shiny. But skin is a pessimistic, negative MEANIE! If the sun touches it, it goes all dark and unhappy. It even burns!

If you blew a bubble in space, would it pop?

Yes. There is some scientific answer behind this, but I'll explain it like this: SPACE DOES NOT LIKE BUBBLES.

Somebody stole my cookies at lunch, what should I do?

Find them and punch them in the face.

NOTE FROM THE EDITORS: THESE ARE BOB'S OPINION ONLY. IN NO WAY DO THEY REFLECT THE OFFICIAL OPINIONS OF TRAF TRASH (we advocate a much gentler and sneakier approach, such as stealing their cookies...)

When atheists go to court, do they still have to swear on the bible?

I have no idea. I am a strong believer in The Church Of The Flying Spaghetti Monster, or Pastafarianism (it's a real thing, Google it). I don't know what atheists do in court.

And now, a segment for our biggest question asker, "Santa":

NOTE: I do not think you are Santa. Santa would not curse at innocent people named Bob. Shame on you, you imposter (but some of your questions were pretty funny). But here are some of the qeustions fit to print:

Why does rain drop but snow fall?

Well smartie pants rain is lighter so it will drop, snow is heavier so it obviously has to fall.

Is a watermelon bigger than your head?

Normally yes, a watermelon is bigger than your head unless you go to japan and buy one of those square watermelons that are really tiny. If you aren't planning on going to Japan and the regular Canadian watermelons are bigger than your head you are either a martian with a extremely large head or you have a massive brain and are super-intelligent.

Do ghosts exist?

OMG aren't you santa? Tsk tsk... You are a very bad santa if you haven't already figured this out because you are very old and have lived thousands of years. So if you must know... GHOSTS DO EXISTS!!! If I were you I would run home right now and look at  the dark creepy places like under your bed and in your closet GO RUN NOWWW! Before it is too late.